costuming

so i have a costume party to go to this weekend, and my friend is going all out, and since i don't want to be the asshole w/o a costume, i had to go shopping for one on my only day off. ugh. i went to a huge costume shop and tried on all kinds of horrible cheapy cheapass "sexy this" costumes. if you thought bikini shopping was soul crushing, trying on a costume that was supposedly able to fit anyone from a size 2 to 14 and makes you look like the bee girl from the cover of the blind melon album cover, when it's supposed to be a cute witch costume is worse than trying on bikini's after a winter of homemade mac n cheese. 

 

so these are my costumes of defeat options:

wet t-shirt and go as a hurricane survivor.

get a cop uniform and carry around a walmart bag full of stuff and go as a NOLA looter cop.

duct tape myself up and go as a NOLA refrigerator. 

 

i'm leaning towards the nola looter cop, but people probably won't get it out here. and of course, since i'm a girl, and it's halloween, i'd ahve to go as SEXY nola looter cop.

 

By the Time i get to Arizona

Ah. the drive to AZ was really awesome. i really do like the western landscape. the huge mountains, the big sky, the rocks.
i really enjoyed this leg. there were a ton of hilarious little shops. one sign said "we have REDNECK FIGURINES!" i had to stop and pick out some little things for people.

the roadside attractions were getting better. Dinosaur museums. i hoped i'd pass the big dinosaurs that Pee Wee Herman did in that movie where he had to find his bike. i don't think i did, but there was a long stretch of road that did have big sculptures of dinosaurs by the side of the highway. they started out rather tame, but by the fourth or fifth one, it was pretty scary...big velocoraptor style dinosaurs taking down some kind of dino-prey and all bloody. i wish i could have taken pics of them.

So i'm on my way into Flagstaff, and i'm told that i can't not go to the grand canyon, since i'm right there and i've never been to it before. ok, i'm making decent time, so i tell my friends in P-nix, that i'll call them when i get to the GC and i'll see them later on that evening.

holy crap. how long does it take to get to the Grand Canyon? on the map, it looks like its *right there* crap. i'm feeling like a mix of Pee We herman (Again) all "wheres the Grand Canyon?" and like one of those stupid twats in a british chick lit novel, all "on the map, it looks like its so close to Flagstaff!"  5 hours later, and 8000 feet higher, i find the grand canyon. i have to go through a quaint little town, looks very ski resort and lodgey. 20$ to get in, and i just pull into the first lookout point that i come to. its already 4pm and the sun was kinda setting and it was getting late. so i take a few pics, mostly on my phone b/c my digicam's battery was dying. taking pics was hard b/c the sun was RIGHT in my face. i look very stressed out in the photos.

i have to admit, its pretty breathaking. and the weather was awesome. all cool and mountainey.

then i have to HAUL ASS to pheonix. i was impressed how my car did. i was running down mountains in pitch dark at like 90mph. i scared myself a bit b/c i was going so fast and it was so dark. AZ has laws against too many lights b/c they have so many observatories. finally i made it to my friends house.

that day was a good 12 hours of driving. 12 hours. i now know that feeling of "just drive! just drive!!!!"

 

Katrina should have hit Albuquerque

So i've never had a good relationship with Albuquerque, NM. my first 6 weeks of my hellish job sent me there, to the worst account my old company had. and i vowed never to set foot there ever again.

but i had to stay a night there on my way out to CA. it sucked. i roll up to the hotel, and it seems like things are going to be ok. the manager says that since i'm from NOLA, the Red Cross will pay for my room. coo. so he checks me all in, gives me my password to get on their wireless network, and i go. but ugh. my room is way in the back of the place, and all the rooms are open to the street. there's no indoor corridors. eep. AND i see a few cops searching the next door trailer park for something. a body? will my body be next? eeks.
not a good feeling.

so i decide to get some food and then lock myself into my room, and hole up. but fock. no wireless signal in my room. suck. suck suck. and the outlet by the bed is so bajiggety that the plug to my laptop keeps falling out, so i plug it into the outlet across the wall from the bed to charge up my laptop battery.
i eat my Sonic and watch Starsky and Hutch on cable. and by the way, there's hardly any tv channels. more suckage.

When i get up the next morning to roll out extra early, b/c i can't stand to be in ABQ one more minute longer, in my dazed state, i trip over the cord that is attached to my computer and my laptop falls off the bed and bounces around. OMG. fuck. my laptop. my lifeline to the internet. since i can't even get a good signal, i can't tell if i broke it. gah.

then i walk out to pack up my car and i see that it had rained last night. and i had left the windows of my car cracked open. so my seats were all wet. yay. i lay down shop towels and new little potty pads of pixel's on the seats so my ass isn't soaking wet during the drive. i know. classy.

so i go to check out and the night manger who said my room would be paid for by red cross wasn't there like he said he would be. there was some little old dude that had no idea how to do that. he said that they just keep a copy of my driver's liceense and i wouldn't be charged for the room. ok. then i head out to the little restaraunt attached to the hotel to get some ice for my travel mug, b/c i didn't get ice from the ice machine b/c it was waaaaaaaaaay far from my room. and i wanted out. so i go into the restaraunt and i just ask if i could please have some ice for my cup. She looks at me and is all "are you a guest of the hotel?" i say yes, i stayed here last night. She asks me for my free breakfast voucher. i said that i don't want breakfast. i just want some ice so that i can get on the road, and all that crap is in my car. b/c i want to get the hell out of this shitty ass place. she looks at me with suspicion and reluctantly gets me some ice.
for pete's sake. its just some ice. do i need to give them my voucher for that? ugh. i could not belive that shit. Finally, i roll out and leave that hellish hellish place behind. of course only here would i have so much shitty shit happen. i've never left for on the road in such a bad mood.

Good fucking riddance, ABQ. no. i don't want your fucking red. or green sauce.